No Confidence, Lots of Anxiety.

I’m a really anxious person, as I’m sure a lot of y’all have managed to see through some of my posts. If Red seems just a little off, or something tiny is wrong, I go into full out anxious mom mode. I literally look for something to be wrong, when everything is totally fine. For instance – Red in the last few days, which have been hot and muggy and rainy, has wanted to stay in his stall a lot in the evening during feeding time. (which is around 3 or 4 most days, sometimes 5, aka the hot part of the day.) and he acts almost tired. Not lethargic, but sleepy. He eats well, pees, poops, all that jazz, and most of the time, he’s out during the morning and evening when it’s cooler, and he’ll stand out in the rain all day long to graze. He has no symptoms of being sick, yet I worry myself sick. He also has hives, which is a typical thing for Red and his sensitive skin. I’m willing to bet someone sprayed normal fly spray on him, or he’s irritated by one of the sprays we use on him for sweet itch. Sometimes he randomly breaks out with stuff and I have to pull him off of it for awhile. They don’t seem to be bothering him in the least, yet I worry.

Handsome pony yesterday needs something done with that mane. I don’t want to cut it but it seriously is not growing anymore 😦

I only do this with Red -I think my mind knows that I’m super attached to him and in love with him so nothing can happen or else I’ll go nuts. All I want is to have a good first year of him being here and I think my mind is trying to find any reason that we won’t have a good year.

I’ve also lost a ton of confidence somewhere along the way. On the ground, I’m good, but once I’m on him, I’m nervous. It’s like this with any other horse. It could be because I just haven’t ridden often, could be because I need to go back to the basics in a round pen again, or because my horse is changing so much (for the better, in many, many ways.) and I’m learning how to ride him for how he acts now as opposed to how he used to act. I know what I need is to ride it out and just suck it up, I love riding and I love riding him more than anything. We’ve just gotta drill some things and get back in our groove.

Tell me I’m not the only worry wart equestrian?

Because he’s very dangerous. Yup.
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4 thoughts on “No Confidence, Lots of Anxiety.”

  1. You’re definitely not the only one! I’m always worrying that Lady’s weight isn’t right, that that ONE wrong step that she took during a 30 minute ride means that her arthritis is flaring up again, and I don’t dare do more than a slow trot in the mud because “oh no! she might slip and pull something!”
    So yeah… I get you 😉 seriously… my horse is the most spoiled thing within 20 miles 😛

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  2. I’m a HUGE worrier — ask anyone. I freak out and jump to the worst possible scenario at the drop of a hat. As for confidence under saddle, I always find I lose a little bit over the winter when I’m not riding as much. But as soon as I get back in a regular routine, it takes no time at all to get it all back 🙂

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